I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
