I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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