How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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