2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize