Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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