I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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