now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize