I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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