Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
