I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
