If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
