I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
