You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
