btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
