i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
