Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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