He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
