it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I am naked and annoyed.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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