Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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