Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
