Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize