i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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