I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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