Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
