Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Screwed.edu
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
