Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize