i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
