he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
