like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
