laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
