so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
