I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
