she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
