No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
