this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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