I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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