I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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