Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
