I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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