RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
