Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
