The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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