Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize