If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
