dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
