I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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