Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize
