I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You can't just leave with hair like that
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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