You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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