Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
