is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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