Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
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