she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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