Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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