This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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