I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
