I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize