I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize