Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize