You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
