It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
