They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
